The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion's cage.
Zoo keeper: "Didn't I tell you that when the lion is wagging his tail, he was friendly?"
Employee: "He was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."
Zoo keeper: "So, what's that got to do with it?"
Employee: "Well, I don't know which end to trust."
Luke: I remember the time I played against Yale in football. What a game it was."
Mark: "What position did you play?"
Luke: "In the first game I was left...."
Luke: "Left out. In the second half I was back...."
Mark: "You were back in?"
Luke: "No, way back."
A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.
"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.
The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."