A young man fell into a deep coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of his friends ask him what it felt like to be dead.

"Dead? I wasn't dead and I knew it because I was hungry and my feet were cold."

"But, how did that make you so sure?"

"Well, I knew if I was in heaven I wouldn't be hungry, and if I were in the other place, my feet wouldn't be cold."

The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion's cage.

Zoo keeper: "Didn't I tell you that when the lion is wagging his tail, he was friendly?"

Employee: "He was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."

Zoo keeper: "So, what's that got to do with it?"

Employee: "Well, I don't know which end to trust."

Steve met the family doctor on the street.

"I hear your wife has gone to Palm Beach for her health," began the doctor. "What did she have?"

"Eight hundred dollars her father gave her," answered Steve.

Luke: I remember the time I played against Yale in football. What a game it was."

Mark: "What position did you play?"

Luke: "In the first game I was left...."

Mark: "End?"

Luke: "Left out. In the second half I was back...."

Mark: "You were back in?"

Luke: "No, way back."