Benjones Profile

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Benjones

User Details

Member Since : May, 2018
# of jokes posted : 666
# of followers : 10
# of following: 4
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 1934.00
$25.00 won 10 votes

An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.

After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"

10 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$50.00 won 9 votes

Different views on doing laundry...

Son away at college: If it's clean it goes on the floor. If it's dirty it goes on the floor over there.

Husband while wife is away: If I just take things out of the hamper as I need them, I do not have anything to fold.

Wife: With the amount of laundry I do, there must be more people living in this house!

9 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

Little Johnny went with his mother for the first time to deliver lunches to the elderly.

Little Johnny kept starring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

He said, very softly, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$10.00 won 9 votes

I recently compared the cost of living in nursing homes vs cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked cruise ship reservations and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day for 10 meals or room service (breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. The cruise ship swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken, light bulb out? Everything plus clean sheets and towels every day.
8. If you fall and break you hip: nursing home/Medicare. Cruise ship/upgrade to a suite forever.

Yep, Cruising is for me!

9 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Benjones" |