The fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught, in the presence of witnesses.
One day a doctor borrowed the fisherman's scales to weigh a new born baby.
The baby weighed 40 pounds.
"Darling," said the husband to his new bride, "I am not casting any reflections on your cooking, but I sure wish you could learn to make the kinda of bread my mother use to make."
"I don't think that should be too difficult," she said sweetly, "If you will learn to make the dough my father used to make."
Upon Little Johnny's graduation his Aunt gave him a graduation present.
Little Johnny: "Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present."
Aunt Vera: "Oh, that's nothing to thank me for."
Little Johnny: "That's what I thought but mother told me to thank you just the same."