maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 494
# of followers : 5
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1316.00
$10.00 won 8 votes

"Yes," said the lawyer to his client. "You have got the best case I have ever heard."

"Thanks," said the client, grabbing up his coat and heading out the door.

"Where are you going?" ask the astonished lawyer.

"I'm going to settle this case out of court," said the leaving client.

"But I told you it is the best case I have ever heard?"

"Maybe," began the client, "but not for me, I told you the other fellow's case."

8 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$12.00 won 9 votes

Uncle Jack drove up to the drug store in high distress. He stamped into the store, talking to himself.

"Are you the fresh young fellow that sold me this this stuff yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?" Uncle Jack inquired of the clerk.

"Yes sir," replied the clerk.

"Well, this morning I tried for half and hour, and I'll be darned if it would make my teeth stick in!"

9 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

A long winded attorney was arguing a technical case before one of the judges of the superior courts. The attorney had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult to follow his line of thought, and the judge had just yawned very suggestively.

With a trace of sarcasm in his voice, the tiresome attorney ventured to observe: "I sincerely trust that I am not unduly trespassing on the time of this court."

"My friend," returned his honor, "there is considerable difference between trespassing on time and encroaching upon eternity."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$12.00 won 9 votes

One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign.

Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about."

9 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |