Who's the genius that decided to call it "Emotional baggage"...

.... and not "griefcase."

I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, “I’m really hopeless at fishing and need some tips."

The man said, “Okay, can you hold the line?”

I said, “No.”

Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee.

I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet.

I said, "Yes, I’ve got a dog."

She asked, "Would you like to insure him too?"

I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!"