How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
It’s on the house.
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature?
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.
She asked, "How warm is it inside?"
I said, "Lukewarm."
Judge: "I order you to pay $10,000."
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"