When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
It’s on the house.
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
"Hard drive?" he asked.
"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”