"Why are you late Freddie?" asked his teacher angrily.
"Please ma'am, it was late when I started from home."
"Then why didn't you start early?"
"Please, ma'am, it was too late to start early."
Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"
Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"
Patient: "Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up... something to get me fired up and put me in a fighting mood. Did you put anything like that in this prescription?"
Doctor: "No, not in the prescription. You'll find that in the bill."
"I saw the doctor you told us to see."
"Did you tell him I sent you?"
"Yes, I did."
"What did he say?"
"He asked me to pay in advance."