Favorite this joke "Madam, your husband must have absolute rest."
"Well, Doctor, he won't listen to me."
"A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning."
A doctor was trying to check an epidemic in a village. Visiting a family, he asked, "Are you taking precautions to prevent spread of contagion?"
"Yes, sir, doctor," replied the head of the family. "We've even bought a sanitary cup and we all drink from it."
Upset Pilot (after crash): "I was trying to break a record..."
Farmer: "Well, you've made it. You're the first man in these parts who climbed down a tree without having to climb up it first."
A farmer lived on a quiet, rural highway. As time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six chickens a day. A call to the sheriff resulted in signs being put up near the farmer's land that said "Slow: School Crossing." Chickens were still being run over. The sheriff had the signs changed to say "Slow: Children at Play." Again no change.
"Look, your signs are just not working. Mind if I put up one of my own?" asked the farmer. The Sheriff agreed. Three weeks later, the Sheriff decided to see if the new sign was working because he had not received anymore complaints. Upon close inspection, the sheriff saw the new sign that was making a difference. Written on a whole sheet of plywood were the words... "Slow: Nudist Colony."
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