What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes whack and then "Darn!" while a skydiver goes “Darn!” and then whack.
"Dad, can I unplug your phone? It's almost full and mine is dying!"
"No, you'll have to go to Rhode Island."
"For a new port."
Teacher: Clyde, your composition about “My dog” is exactly like your brothers. Did you copy this?
Clyde: No sir. It’s the same dog.
Where do you take some one who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I-C-U!