In the men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "Think!"

The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "Thoap!"

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy's lap!

My wife said last night: "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game."

Unfortunately, this cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

Sea-kelp!