Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall...
He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from.
He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
My neighbor was afraid to grow a fruit tree.
I told him to grow a pear.
I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.
"Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."
Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.
I interrupted and said, "Listen to me. I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"
She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"