HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 710
# of followers : 25
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 9
Location: United States
won: $ 610.00
$9.00 won 6 votes
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Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."


The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born... Couldn't walk for a year."

6 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.

3 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$6.00 won 3 votes
 

"Can I have a cigarette?" Jill asked.

"I thought you quit smoking," Mary said

"I'm in the process of quitting," Jill said. "Right now I am in the middle of phase one."

"What's phase one?" Mary asked.

"I've quit buying," Jill replied.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 5 votes

I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married...

I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |