An unscrupulous businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.

"Do you want to write your will?"

"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

A Sunday school teacher asked little Susie, "Who's your favorite person in the Bible?"

Susie said, "King Solomon."

"Can you tell us why?"

"Because he was so nice to ladies and to animals."

"What do you mean?"

"He had six hundred wives and three hundred porcupines."

If snowmen can't ride bicycles, tricycles, or unicycles, what can they ride?

Icicles!