Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less than his wife.

One snowman asks another, "Do you smell carrots?"

Husband: Why is the food cold and bland?

Wife: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and cows, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws!"