D-Gellybean Profile

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D-Gellybean

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 1442
# of followers : 27
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 2540.00
$7.00 won 2 votes

An elderly man was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"

He said, "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me!"

Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to the man, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

He replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available?”

2 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$50.00 won 5 votes

The teacher asked Little Johnny if he knew his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “My dad taught me.”

“Good. So what comes after eight?”

“Nine,” answered Little Johnny.

“And what comes after nine?”

“Ten.”

“And what comes after ten?”

“The Jack.”

5 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$15.00 won 6 votes

Man: ”They’ll be changing the metric system soon!”

Boy: ”Uh, what’s that?”

Man: ”They’ll be changing feet to meters!

Boy: ”You mean, we'll be playing meterball?”

6 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$25.00 won 5 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

Why was the = sign so humble?

He knew that he wasn’t < or > than anyone else.

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |