D-Gellybean Profile

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D-Gellybean

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 474
# of followers : 13
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 6
Location: United States
won: $ 467.00
$6.00 won 5 votes

During the first day of Navy Boot Camp, the lieutenant in charge had a stack of cards with each person’s name on it. He said, “When I read off your name, I want you to step forward, say 'Here, sir', then salute me, and then get back to where you were!”

Lieutenant: “Andrews!”

Andrews: “Here, sir!”

Lieutenant: “Cooper!”

Cooper: “Here, sir!”

Lieutenant: “Seeback!” (No response) “Seeback! (Still no response) “I said Seeback!”

The admiral next to him whispers something in his ear. The lieutenant then turns the card over and says: “Lodge!”

Lodge: “Here, sir!”

5 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$6.00 won 8 votes

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night.

Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works!

I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist!

8 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

Everyone's heard of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as the ninth reindeer, but many people don't know that there is a tenth one whose name was Olive.

"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$12.00 won 2 votes
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"Can I buy a live shark here?"

"Lady, what do you want with a live shark?"

"A neighbor's cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |