My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time with her.

I decided to fix that by having a "movie night" with her.

We watched Hackers, The Net, Anti-Trust, You've Got Mail and The Matrix.

She's still mad at me.

I got a big envelope in the mail that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend."

Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."

"Your call is very important to us...

... Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."

I accidentally sat on my phone...

Siri suggested several local gyms.