A man stops by his local florist shop to buy flowers for his new girlfriend. He asks the proprietor, "You know the expression, 'You should say it with flowers'?"

"How about three dozen of my finest roses?" the florist asks.

"Make it a half dozen roses," the man answers. "I'm a man of few words."

It was a very emotional wedding...

Even the cake was in tiers!

A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.

The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!

The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says, “What’s that noise?”

My neighbor shaves 15-20 times a day...

No, he's not crazy... he's just a barber.