A starving artist was discussing his recent painting for a local museum.
"Was it hung?"
"Yes, near the entrance where everyone could see it."
"Congratulations! What was it?"
"A board saying, 'Keep to the left'..."
I spent a lot of effort child proofing my house...
But the kids still get in.
Sign seen upon entering a furniture store:
Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten!
A chemist's favorite drink is...