A starving artist was discussing his recent painting for a local museum.

"Was it hung?"

"Yes, near the entrance where everyone could see it."

"Congratulations! What was it?"

"A board saying, 'Keep to the left'..."

I spent a lot of effort child proofing my house...

But the kids still get in.

Sign seen upon entering a furniture store:

Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten!

A chemist's favorite drink is...

CoFe2.