We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I’ll have the #24."

"Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that’s the price, not the meal number."

"Oh," he said. "Then give me the #12."

Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork when it came time for his first check up with his new doctor. The doctor kept glancing at Brian as he reviewed the medical paperwork.

After browsing through the extensive medical history, the doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!”

My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed.

“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?”

“The one that has no roast beef.”

Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I’ll turn the pumps on right away!"

What I didn’t know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay.

My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me.

"We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you’d get here sooner or later."