stee Profile



User Details

Member Since : Sep, 2016
# of jokes posted : 68
# of followers : 2
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1247.00
$12.00 won 6 votes

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”

6 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "stee" |
$25.00 won 4 votes

During weekly visits to my allergist, I’ve noticed a lot of inattentive parents with ill-behaved children in the waiting room. So I was impressed one day to see a mother with her little boy, helping him sound out the words on a sign.

Finally he mastered it and his mother cheered, "That’s great! Now sit there. I’ll be back in 15 minutes."

What did the sign say?

"Children must not be left unattended."

4 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

I work at a garden center and was tickled to overhear one customer saying to another, “I never knew what compost was until I met husband.”

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "stee" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."

From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |