Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3157
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 816.00
$15.00 won 5 votes

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair, and has a smile that makes everybody love him.

The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."

The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.

She replies, "Just because I reported him missing doesn't mean I want him back!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$12.00 won 6 votes
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A man found a magic lamp with a genie who offered him three wishes.

"For my first wish," he said, "I'd like to be rich."

"Okay, Rich," the genie replied, "what's your second wish?"

6 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 4 votes

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she or he keeps cranking out.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

4 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 5 votes
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A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked, "What's that big brass basin for?"

"That's the talking clock," answered the man.

He gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2:00 A.M.!"

5 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |