Grandson: "When did you first realize you were getting old, grandpa?"

Grandpa: "When I started having my midnight snack at 9:30 pm."

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play nine holes of golf. Both men are playing excellently but were often held up by two women in front of them, moving at a very slow pace.

Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about 3/4ths of the way, stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is.

Joe said, “Well, one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress.”

Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women. He was determined to finish his round of golf. He was prepared to ask the ladies to hurry their game. He too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked, "What's wrong?"

“It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired."

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

What is a committee?

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.