A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?

A sourpuss.

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary...

How would we ever know?

An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.

He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.