Jim bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Jim said, "I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar."

But after further explanation, he managed to find it. A week later, Jim again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Jim's head was spinning. "You don't need to go any further," he sighed, "I don't understand a thing."

To cheer him up, the instructor said, "Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn't even know where the space bar was!"

A local citizen ran for a political position for the first time and won. "Congratulate me," he says to his wife. "I won the nomination!"

The wife replies, surprised, "Honestly?"

"Now why in thunder did you want to bring up that point for?"

Different views on doing laundry...

Son away at college: If it's clean it goes on the floor. If it's dirty it goes on the floor over there.

Husband while wife is away: If I just take things out of the hamper as I need them, I do not have anything to fold.

Wife: With the amount of laundry I do, there must be more people living in this house!

Farmer: "I've arranged my garden so as not to be caught by droughts this summing."

Neighbor: "What did you do?"

Farmer: "I planted my potatoes and onions in alternate rows. The onions will make the potatoes eyes water and reduce the need for water."