Past Winners

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said: "Turn left here."

What's the most regrettable means of communication?

Remorse code.

I never make the same mistake twice.

I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.

A spiritual leader asked his pupils if they saw a $20 bill and a $100 bill on the floor which one they’d pick up.

Nobody answers but finally one guy meekly blurts out, “$100.”

The spiritual leader simply says, “I see.”

After a small pause, of his pupil asks him, “Which one would you have picked up, oh Wise One?”

Looking straight into his eyes the leader answers, “I’d have picked up both.”