Past Winners

Little Johnny's mother: "Johnny, your teacher mailed me a permission slip so she could offer you the part of a marionette in the school play and I signed it."

Little Johnny: "I know and she offered me the part but I turned it down. You never want to play a part that has that many strings attached."

One morning over breakfast, a husband was complaining to his wife. “I’ve been with the circus for over 25 years, and every performance I follow behind the elephants and clean up their poop. Twenty-five years, ‘Scoop the poop! Scoop the poop!’ I’m tired of it.”

His wife calmly said, “If you’re so unhappy, why don’t you quit?”

“What! And leave show business?!”

Where are average things manufactured?

At Satisfactory.

When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar badly.

And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar... badly.