Past Winners

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

The flight home from a recent business trip was pretty empty. So the pilot made a simple request of the passengers.

"We have a little extra room tonight, folks," he said over the PA system. "So if you wouldn't mind, please take a window seat so the competition thinks the plane is full."

I know a guy who works as a custodian and gardener at a nearby apartment building, and sometimes I earn a couple extra bucks by lending him a hand when he's got a particularly big workload.

He's got some bad habits, though. He asked me if he wanted to share a joint while we were on a break.

I declined. I didn't want to deal with a high maintenance guy.

A five year old boy went for a weekend trip with his grandparents. On the way home, they stopped at a country restaurant for lunch.

The little boy left the table to use the restroom by himself. A moment later he returned with a confused look on his face. He says, "Grandpa, am I a rooster or a hen?"