Past Winners

College is really just kidnapping done backwards...

If you don’t give us a ridiculously large amount of money, we’ll send you your child back!

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded.

"He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food, and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture."

This country’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

The search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

In a moment of closeness, she whispered, "I love you dearly!"

Now, he was an avid hunter and he heard, "I love you deerly!"

In order to continue the romance, he said, "And I love you bearly!"

But, alas, she heard, "I love you barely!"

Here, we must paws...