business jokes

If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.

If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.

If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.

No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.

It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.

When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.

When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room and look for a package.

The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't translate English language web pages into French.

If you're in the armed services, and it's April 1st, and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don't.

If you go to the computer store to buy a mouse pad, you don't have to specify whether it's for a Windows or a Macintosh.

Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

"Pretty good I think," replied Jill. "But if I go to work there, I won't get a vacation unless I'm married."

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, "Is that what they told you?"

"No," replied Jill, "they didn't tell me that, but on the application it said, 'Vacation time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"

The quiet employee asked his boss for Thursday off so he and his wife could celebrate their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

His boss said, "It's okay this time, but I don't intend to put up with this every twenty-five years."

Question: What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?

Answer: Start off with a big one.