business jokes

Be careful when you have friends who tell you they can help you break into the jewelry business...

I took their advice, and now I'm serving 9 to 15 in the state penitentiary.

A guy was fixing up the floor and laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he noticed a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over a package of nails he used earlier.

Rather than to take up the carpet, he decided to get a hammer and pound the package into the ground so no one would know.

When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done. "The carpet looks wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Here are your nails, I found them in the kitchen. By the way, have you seen my phone?"

We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway.

"Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!"

"Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning."

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy did we go 'round. Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.

Guess I must have won that silly argument.