marriage jokes

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what today is?"

"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door on his way the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opens the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil-wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrive. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

"First the flowers, then the candy, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never spent a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my whole life!"

A man had just presented his wife with the fox coat she had been coaxing and cajoling him to by her for weeks. Now he was perplexed to see her examining it with a sad look.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Don’t you like the coat?” he asked.
“I love it,” she answered. “It’s just that I was feeling sorry for the poor little creature who was skinned alive so that I could have the pleasure of wearing this coat.”
“Why, thank you,” said the husband.

John, and avant-garde painter got married.
Someone asked the bride a few weeks after the wedding, "How's married life, Helen?"
"It's great," she answered. "My husband paints, I cook; then we try to guess whe he
painted and what I cooked."