misc jokes

At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?
The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said “fine for parking.”

A woman at a department store ask a clerk: Will you help me out, please?
“Certainly, just go through that door” replied the clerk.

A drunk stumbles up to a woman in a bar and says “Hey baby, how about coming back to my place for a nightcap?
“That’ll be the day!” she says
”Well, howzabout having dinner with me tomorrow night then?”
“That’ll be the day!” she says
“Okay, why don’t we take my corporate jet and spend the weekend in Rome?”
“This’ll be the day.” She says

The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”
“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Bell,” said Mary.