misc jokes

A patient tell his therapist: “I feel awful. I feel like a spoon all the time.”
The therapist says: “sit still and don’t stir.”

During a bank heist the Chief told the Sgt. to cover all exits so the robbers could not get away. Later the Sgt. reports to the chief. “Sorry sir but they got away.”
The chief very disappointed says, “I told you to cover all Exist.”
"I did” replied the Sgt. but they got away through the Entrance"

Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen, while his car was in the garage.
When he got into it, he found out it would not start.
So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement.
This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guys was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. "What’s the trouble?" he asked. After taking a look, he said; "No wonder it won't start someone stole the engine." "But don’t worry" he said, “I have an extra in my trunk you can borrow".

Did you hear about the baby born in the high-tech delivery room?

It was cordless!