misc jokes

Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.

Q: What can you put your money into that is sure to go up?
A: Taxes

Q: What is sure confidence?
A: Solving crossword puzzles with a fountain pen.

Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby.
When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.” “To tell you the truth,” his friend said, “I forgot her name abut three years ago.”