misc jokes

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. 
One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." 

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 
15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" 
One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" 
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" 
The man replies: "For three reasons: 
(1) he took a long time to answer, 
(2) he was absolutely correct, and 
(3) his answer was absolutely useless."

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. 
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." 
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." 
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." 
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" 
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who was known for being a poor housekeeper. 
When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Have these dishes ever been washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. 
She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." 
He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside, whistled and yelled, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!" 

Once there was this young who discovered a treasure trove. Amongst the old and valuable things he noticed a worn out lamp. He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. "Yes master, express your wish", the genie howled. The man said, "Genie get me a grand villa where I can live happily ever after with my girlfriend". The genie looked at the man and said, "Well, if I could make a villa like that, then why the hell do you suppose I live in this stuffy worn out lamp?"