misc jokes

There was once a monastery and the friars there wanted a new bell for the bell tower. To raise enough money for the bell, the friars decided to start a florist shop. Well, word got out that some friars were opening a flower shop, and everyone wanted the friar's flowers! So they got great business and lots of money! Well, the other florists in that area weren't very happy because they were losing business. They sent a warning to the friars telling the friars that if they didn't stop selling flowers that they would send someone over to rough 'em up! The friars ignored the warning. The next day however, the angry florists got together and hired a thug named Hugh. Hugh was big and strong! Hugh went to the friar's flower shop and beat the friars up and tore up their shop! So the moral to this story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens can't fly; they have to walk to cross the road.

Let's say there is a hundred dollar bill in the center of a room. In each of the corners there is a person. In one corner there is a Santa Claus; in another, the Easter Bunny; in another a smart Antartian and in the last a dumb Antartian. They all notice the hundred-dollar bill in the center of the room. They all make a dash for the bill... who gets to the bill first???
Answer: The dumb Antartian; the others don't exist!!

Q: What do you do when an Antartian throws a pin at you?
A: Run, because the grenade is in her mouth!!