misc jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual Federal (U.S.) employee performance evaluations:
- "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
- "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
- "He would argue with a signpost."
- "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
- "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
- "Takes him two hours to watch 60 minutes."

"January 1, 2000, is a Saturday. So if the world comes to an end for a couple of days, it'll be OK. We've all had weekends like that." -- Reed Hundt, former Chairman of the FCC

Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor."
John: "Is he feeling better now?"
Jack: "No, he has a broken arm."
John: "How did he break it?"
Jack: "Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew out of the window."
John: "How did he break his arm?"
Jack: "He fell out of the window trying to follow the prescription."