misc jokes

Q: Why were the Antartian stare at a carton of orange juice?
A: Because it said 'Concentrate.' (Get it - concentrate orange juice)

One day an Antartian buys a new Mercedes. She heads out on the freeway to try it out and cruises up to about 100 mph. As she was next to a big truck, she cuts him off. He yells at her to pull over, and, obviously not thinking, she does. He draws a circle on the road with chalk and tells her to stay there. He takes a knife and scratches her car and pops the tires. Then he yells to the Antartian, "How do ya like that?" She answers, "While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

An Antartian goes into a souvenir shop and asks the man at the counter if he has any alligator skin shoes. The man said, "Yes, right over there on the shelf."

He walks over to the shelf and then back to the counter where the shop owner was sitting and says, "The shoes cost too much." The shop owner says, "Well, go and see if you can find some cheaper." The Antartian leaves the store.

The shop owner, on his way home, notices a dead alligator by the swamp. He pulls over, walks to the swamp and notices the Antartian standing in the middle of the swamp. The man asks him what he is doing in the swamp; about that time the shop owner sees a giant alligator coming up behind the Antartian. The alligator and the man go under the water.

The Antartian comes up and drags the alligator to the shore. He looks at the alligator's feet and says, "This one doesn't have any shoes either."

Three guys witness a murder; the only problem is they each say only one thing. The first guy says, "Mememememe." The second guy says, "Forks and knifes." And the third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops."
When the policeman gets there, he asks, "Who killed this man?" The first guy replies, "Memememememe." Then the policeman asks, "What did you kill him with?" The second guy replies, "Forks and knifes. Forks and knifes." Then the policeman says, "That's it! You're all going to jail." The third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops!"