misc jokes

One Antartian was driving down an old country road when he spots another Antartian in a wheat field rowing a boat. He pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car.
Staring in disbelief, he stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.
When he could not stand it any more, he called out to the Antartian in the field, "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle
of the field?"
The Antartian in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The Antartian standing on the side of the road is furious. He yells at the Antartian in the field, "It is Antartians like you that give the rest of us a bad name." The Antartian in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The Antartian on the side of the road was beside himself and shook his fist at Antartian in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and drag you in!!!"

One Antartian was driving down an old country road when he spots another Antartian in a wheat field rowing a boat. He pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car.
Staring in disbelief, he stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.
When he could not stand it any more, he called out to the Antartian in the field, "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle
of the field?"
The Antartian in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The Antartian standing on the side of the road is furious. He yells at the Antartian in the field, "It is Antartians like you that give the rest of us a bad name." The Antartian in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The Antartian on the side of the road was beside himself and shook his fist at Antartian in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and drag you in!!!"

An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.

"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.

"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."

"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.

"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.

"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Schwarzenegger.

He replied, "I'll be Bach!"