Best Jokes

A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?” “The slightest noise wakes me up.”

Did you water the plants, Sofia, asked the mistress of the house?
“Of course, ma’am,” Sofia said. “Don’t you hear the water dripping on the carpet?”

Tim asked Bob “What happened to your uncle’s boat?”
“Ever notice that big rock at the entrance to the Golden Gate?” said Bob.
“Yes, I have” replied Tim.
“Well, he didn’t” said Bob.

The drunk walking along the country road saw the duck hunter lying in the brush with the gun poised toward the direction of the high-flying flock in the distance. “Shay, mishter,” advised the drunk. “Don’t waisht a shot. The fall’ll kill’em