Best Jokes

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?
Passenger: No, I have not.
Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.
Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?
Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.

A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver, "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, 'sixty-five at least.'”

"SIXTY-FIVE!" shrieked the woman.

"Yes, sixty-five."

"I don’t think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older."

Student: I would love for you to teach me a foreign language.
Teacher: Certainly. French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish?
Student: Oh, which is the most foreign?

Teacher: What are the four main food groups?
Students: Canned, frozen, instant, and lite.