Best Jokes

Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”
Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look I'm changing!

An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, "Well, you've got some problems, all right, but if you'd give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you'd last a good while longer."
"But Doc," answered the man, "I don't smoke, drink, or chase women."
"Oh," replied the doctor, "I'm sorry."
Moral: Keep some vices to give up in your old age.

A woman sadly tells her husband: We will not be together in heaven as we may die at different times my dear.
After a pause her husband replied; my dear that is why the place is known as 'Heaven'.