Best Jokes

A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts. “I’d like a soda,” said a passenger in the first row. Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something. “Yes, I would,” he replied. “Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!”

Two ghosts were talking. One said to the other, "I think I've been here before."
The other replies, "Don't worry, it's just a case of deja whooooo!"

A young apprentice optometrist recently got careless and got his hand caught in the lens grinder. He wasn't seriously hurt, but he certainly made a spectacle of himself.

An old man is talking to his friends. He says, “I’ve got my health, everything is fine, my mind, knock wood… who’s there?