Best Jokes

Do you have a picture of yourself? So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!

I only thought of you once today, I just never stopped.

Explaining the population explosion of the world a teacher was elaborating
"Suppose all world population are walking and jumping off the globe.
The line will still be endless"
A student appeared confused and the teacher clarified " You see as and when a person jumps off another will be born and the line will continue for ever"
Still the young student wore the bewildered look "What is the doubt" the teacher asked. You said, "You said, they were all walking, teacher"

A man steals paintings from a museum and gets a few blocks away, runs out of gas and the cops catch him. When asked what happened he replied..."I didn’t have enough Monet to pay for Degas to make the Van Gogh!!!!