Best Jokes

Damien was being severely scolded by his father for fighting. "Now, Damien" said his angry father, "This will not do! You must learn that you can't have everything you want in this life. There must always be give and take."
"But there was Dad!" protested the aggressive youngster. "I gave him a black eye and took the apple!"

Little Jackie’s mother was on the telephone with the child’s dentist.
“I don’t understand it,” she complained “I thought his treatment would only cost $20.00, but you have charged me $80.00.”
“It is usually $20.00, madam,” agreed the dentist, “but Jackie yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away

"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?"

"Five bucks, sir."

"And how much for my suitcase?"

"No charge for the suitcase, sir."

"Okay. Take the case and I'll walk."

Jack met Claude in the street and noticed that Claude was carrying a small parcel.
‘Been shopping then, Claude?” he asked.
“Yes,” replied Claude, “I’ve just been to the perfumery to by a present for the wife’s birthday tomorrow.” “Oh, yes?” said Jack, “what did you get her, then?”
“A bottle of toilet water. Very expensive – this little bottle cost me twenty-five dollars!”
“Twenty-five dollars for a bottle of toiler water?” said Jack in amazement. “Why don’t you come home with me? You can have all you want for nothing!”