Best Jokes

“I used to be in show business. I had a very spectacular act.”
“What did you do?”
“I used to dive into a wet sponge from a height of fifty feet.
But then I broke my neck.”
“Did you miss the sponge?”
“No. Some idiot squeezed it dry”

“What sort of an act do you do?"

“I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.”

“Anything else?”

“Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth."

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.

"And now someone's suin' them fast food restaurants for making 'em fat and cloggin' their hearts with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"

"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinkin' can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

Teacher: Class, who can go to the board and show us the map of the North America?

George: Yes, ma'am.

Teacher: Okay George.

George: Here is the map of North America.

Teacher: Class, who discovered North America?

Class: George!