Best Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye."
The doctor says, "Try taking the spoon out first."

One year my uncle decided to cheat on his income taxes. The problem was that he later started to feel so guilty that he couldn’t sleep. After thinking about if for a while, he sent an anonymous cashier’s check for $100 to the IRS along with a note that read:

To Whom It May Concern,

I cheated on my taxes and now I feel so guilty that I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks, so I’m sending you this check for one hundred dollars. I hope you forgive me.

P.S. If I still can’t sleep after one week, I’ll send you the rest of what I owe.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honor thy father and thy mother', she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, and I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."