Best Jokes

A store manager overheard one of his salesmen talking to a customer.
"No sir,"said the salesman.” We haven't had any for awhile and it doesn't look like we'll be getting any soon."
The manager was horrified and yelled after the departing customer,” Come back next week. We’re sure to have whatever it is you need."
Irate, he turned to his salesman,” Never tell a customer we're out of anything! NOW, WHAT DID HE WANT?"
"Rain,” answered the salesman.

Q. Why was the fly dancing on the jam jar?
A. Because on the lid it said, "Twist to open".

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

Two guys were fishing down by the Ohio River on different sides of the riverbank at night. Guy number one was catching a whole bunch of fish for his family, but guy number two hadn't caught any and was frustrated and called out to guy number one "How come you've been catching all them there fish and I ain't caught a single one?"
Guy number one replied, " I don’t know.... why don’t ya come on over here?"
"I don’t know.... I don’t see a bridge, and their aint no boat, and I don’t swim to well"
Guy number one picks up his flashlight, turns it on, and replies, " Why don’t you walk across this here beam off light?"
Guy number two was outraged and replied "do you think am stupid? When I get half way you'll turn it off!!!"